Thanksgiving: A Season to be Thankful

Published by on November 21st, 2012

Not sure you can always trust Wikipedia, but here’s your brief Thanksgiving Story recap (and yes, this is my attempt at humor).

The Thanksgiving Story (abridged and quite likely, highly inaccurate)

The Thanksgiving StoryOnce upon a time… Thanksgiving Day was first celebrated by the Pilgrims in the fall of 1621 at Plymouth, MA. Governor William Bradford organized the three day feast and invited the Wampanoag Indians to join them.

At the feast, the band “Tom’s Turkeys” performed, forever iconizing the term. Midway through dinner, Pocahontas started choking on a potato. (Mashed potatoes wouldn’t be invented until the 1930’s.) Acting quickly, John Wilkes Booth gave her the Heimlich (then called the Mayflower Belch) and saved her life. Unfortunately the Natives were not okay with this “suggestive” action and promptly challenged the Pilgrims to a “Pig Skin Derby” to settle the score. The winner would get the land, as well as dessert.

The match was an epic affair: Pilgrims vs. Indians, with both sides kicking and tossing a tied-up pig carcass. In what the papers would later title Don’t Call it a Cumquat, the Pilgrims scurvy’d their way to a come-from-behind victory and butchered the native team on their own turf! Miles Standish was voted MVP. And a bucket of creamed corn was dumped on Coach Francis Cooke.

When asked if they would be fine having only special, specific areas where they could continue to live, the natives replied, “You can bet on it.” After a massive celebration was held to give thanks for their victory, the Pilgrims decided to meet up at the same time next year to do it again.
And thus Thanksgiving began…

A Season to be Thankful for Fpweb.net

Fpweb.net doesn’t need to be told twice to be thankful! We’ve enjoyed another year of great partnerships, fantastic customers and outstanding coworkers. We continue to appreciate everything they all do for our business! And, on a more personal note, I checked around the office to see who was working on a Wednesday before a long holiday to see what the team is thankful for…

…my family and the Fpweb.net team – I don’t need anything else.
– Jamal P

…no more snakes in the office. …You know, it’s the little things.
– Stephanie Z

…great health, great friends, great family and a damn good job. Can’t ask for much more in life than that!
– Don C

…my go cart and the go cart roller cage that may have saved my life last weekend.
– Josh B

…cigars and Dropbox.
– Mike W

…good health and my great family!
– Shelly L

…well, Shelly took mine so I’ll go with cheesecake and Black Ops II.
– Steven R

…for the SharePoints. And our great customers!
– Jesse R

…the entire Beatles catalog being re-released on vinyl.
– Matt M

…what am I not thankful for?! Also, that I work with Matt Milsark of course!
– Amber W

…life, love and the pursuit of skittles. Also for my amazing family and the amazing family that I marry into next year. Life is good.
– Peter C

…that my curse hasn’t kicked in yet…
– Mike P

…my new job at Fpweb.net. And the ability to home brew because I’m a bit of a brewmeister.
– Tim K

…a whole day of football! I don’t even care who’s playing as long as there’s football on!
– Jeremy M

…did Jeremy say he was thankful for sitting next to me? ‘Cause he is.
For me, win or lose, I’m happy to see a Cowboys game every year on Turkey Day.
– Troy D

…for Black Friday shoppers because they’re crazy and I love to watch the mayhem.
I once saw a man climb over produce in Walmart to get a videogame.
– Mike M

…twinkies… wait what?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
– Joe B

…all the usual family stuff and also that I don’t give a damn about twinkies.
– Jim E

…for coffee! I wouldn’t survive without it!
– Dale D

…that someone would marry me! And guns and ammo. Unrelated…
– Joseph B

…opposable thumbs. And buttons.
– Doug H

…SharePoint. I love SharePoint.
– Anonymous

Wishing you all a safe, happy and turkey-filled Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving From Fpweb.net

 

About Peter Cartier

Peter Cartier has written 95 posts in this blog.

Peter, the Senior Copywriter at Fpweb.net, is the wordsmith of the family. But if we’re choosing titles, he’ll go with “The Elocutionator”. Thus far, he has only used his powers for good and understands that with great vocabulary comes great responsibility. After finishing University, Peter sneaked onto an ultra-luxury cruise line where he worked as the on-ship Publisher for a few years, traveling the world. His next adventure would have him wandering the streets of London for six months while scratching out some purposeful writing. Now, Peter once more hangs his Adidas jackets in his hometown, St. Louis, MO, where there can never be enough Blues and Cardinals games to watch. If you like what you read by him, don’t be a stranger – let him know! Follow Me on Google+

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